Role Reversal
by FusseKat
Summary: What if Alex was the one keeping a secret from Bobby? The aftermath of a successful rescue causes Eames to try and isolate herself while Goren tries to understand his partner's sudden change of attitude.
1. Chapter 1

All rights belong to others.

What if Alex was the one keeping a secret from Bobby? In the aftermath of a successful rescue operation causes Eames to try and isolate herself while Goren tries to understand his partner's sudden change of attitude.

Rated for strong language.

* * *

**Roll Reversal**

"Shit!" growled Goren, huddling further into the meager cover that he and Eames were crouched behind as another stream of bullets whizzed over their heads. "This was supposed to be a simple job. Why us?"

"Because our existence is ruled by Murphy's law?" quipped Eames as she inserted a fresh clip into her Glock.

"Yeah?" grumbled Goren as he changed the clip of his own gun, "Well, I wish that Murphy would leave us alone sometimes."

"Tell him that," replied Eames calmly, before rolling out and returning fire.

"Remind me to do just that," snapped Goren as Eames rolled back into the cover. "For now, I'll be happy to just find that blasted witness and get out of here in one piece each.

"He's at the far end," replied Eames.

"What?" asked Goren wondering what his partner was talking about.

"The witness, I spotted him over at the far end," replied Eames, her expression thoughtful.

"Oh, wonderful!" growled Goren. "You have any suggestions as to how we can get to him without finding out the easy way whether we've finally become bullet-proof or not?" Eames remained thoughtful, yet silent. "Well," said Goren, "I have an idea that just might be crazy enough to work. At least until backup and the others get here."

"Now you're talking," replied Eames. "Let's hit it."

Goren was right, the plan was completely crazy. This was probably why it was working. Fortunately, for them, their enemy needed the witness alive as much as they did and that was working in their favor. Seeing that Eames had nearly reached the frightened man who, thankfully, was staying down, Goren tensed, ready to make his move. At Eames' signal, he broke cover to provide the distraction his partner needed.

Eames stealthily wove her way towards her target. So far things were going fine and hopefully they'd stay that way. She crouched behind some unidentifiable piece of machinery, trying to trace the quickest path to the witness when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. The split second observation saved her life and she nimbly dodged the knife that would have otherwise gone right through her back.

She reached out to block another sweep of the knife, not daring to fire in the restricted space unless she had a good shot for fear of the bullet ricocheting off something. She hissed in pain as she felt the knife slice her left arm, registering the triumphant gleam in her opponent's eyes at the sight of the blood.

Using the slight lapse in concentration to her advantage she lashed out, smashing the stock of her gun against the man's temple with such pent up rage and pain she succeeded in and knocking him unconscious instantly. After checking to make sure that her attacker was out of the picture for the moment, she gave her arm a quick glance. Although it was bleeding, the injury was superficial and she knew she had to get to the witness.

Spotting a decent bit of cover, she made her way forward towards the witness. She caught Goren's eye and nodded. As her partner zigzagged crazily between various pieces of machinery, she darted towards her target.

As she crouched down beside the witness, she realized that the man was unconscious and had been struck in the chest by a bullet. After dragging him to a safer position, Eames hurriedly pulled off her jacket and pressed it against the injury. The sudden jarring pain dragged the man back to consciousness as he started struggling weakly.

"It's going to be ok," said Eames soothingly. "Stay still. Just stay still."

"N..no," protested the man, trying to push Eames' arm away as the she continued to apply pressure to the injury. "D...d...don't touch...me…"

"It's all right," soothed Eames, resisting the man's attempts while keeping an eye open for trouble. "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm with the police, you're going to be fine."

"D...don't understand," he protested weakly. "D...danger..."

Eames frowned slightly. The witness was obviously trying to tell her something more but she couldn't figure out what. Seeing the unhealthy pallor and beads of sweat forming on the man's face, it was clear to Eames that he was going into shock and need medical attention soon.

She pulled out her phone and requested a bus to get the wounded man to the hospital and more backup before turning her attention back to the witness. The man made one last frail attempt to push her arm away before passing out.

She was startled slightly as Goren's voice suddenly came from behind her. She heaved a sigh of relief as her partner informed her that not only had their backup arrived with a medical team, for once he had come out of a mess completely unscathed. Eames finally allowed herself to relax slightly as detectives and uniform officers entered the warehouse, sweeping the area and rounding up suspects.

Goren re-joined her just as a couple of EMT's were taking the witness away.

"You ok, Eames?" he asked, his expression concerned.

"I'm fine," replied Eames. "It's not mine, Bobby," she continued as she noticed her partner eyeing the bloodstains on her clothes.

Eames winced slightly as Goren gently grabbed her left wrist and examined her arm, grinning ruefully as he raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"It's just a scratch," she assured.

"Uh huh," replied Goren.

"All right, I'll get it looked at. Satisfied?" grumbled Eames.

Goren grinned at the mixture of exasperation and affection in his partner's eyes.

"Yeah, I'm satisfied," he replied. "C'mon let's hurry up and get out of here."

Once the medics had checked Eames' arm and let her go after bandaging what was just a superficial wound, the two partners headed back to their car.

"Oh, by the way," said Eames as Goren drove them to 1PP. "Good distraction job. Goren."

"Thanks. And a good plan, even if it was crazy."

"Think that earned us a drink?"

"I think it might have, no, I think it definitely has."

"I'll drink to that," quipped Eames. "Wanna go once we've finished with Ross?"

"Stupid question, Eames." Turning to grin at his partner.

THREE DAYS LATER…

Ross quietly thanked the doctor and put the phone down, his mind reeling. The case was going well even though the witness had been hit by a random shot, he'd still been able to give his testimony from his bed. No matter how unorthodox the plan had been, Eames and Goren's swift actions had saved lives. But this latest development was completely unexpected.

Sighing, he watched his two best detective as he walked towards the open door of this office. Goren was in one of his rare boisterous story telling moods and Eames was laughing at what he was telling them. He knew that this latest bit of news was going to shatter that cheerful mood but there was nothing he could do about that.

"Eames," he called out, the authority in his voice easily commanding his detective's immediate attention. "My office, please. Now."

A slightly puzzled frown creased Eames' brow as her boss went back into his office.

"What have you done this time, Eames?" teased Goren, although he felt as puzzled as Eames looked.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Goren but I didn't do anything," retorted Eames. "he's probably angry about something you've done and this time he's going to take it out on both of us. "

"Seriously, what do you think it's about?" she asked.

"I honestly have no idea," replied Eames. "But it looks as if I'm going to find out right now."

As she walked towards Ross's office, Eames couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right. The look on Ross's face as she entered the office only confirmed her guess that whatever he was going to tell her, it wasn't good news.

"Please shut the door and sit down, Eames," said Ross quietly, as he scanned through a report.

Eames felt little uneasy but silently obeyed the order, resisting the urge to fidget as Ross continued to go through the report. She got the feeling her boss was trying to stall and that only made her feel even more uneasy. Finally, Ross put the report down and looked up at them, his expression unreadable.

"About the Rodriguez case, Eames… In your report you mentioned that you got the impression that the witness was trying to tell you something while you were tending to his injury."

"Yes, sir," replied Eames cautiously, mentally replaying the scene. As far as she knew she hadn't done anything wrong. "But he was going into shock and wasn't making much sense at the time. He barely had the strength to speak."

"The man died early this morning, Eames," sighed Ross, taking off his reading glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," said Eames, feeling more bewildered by the second. "His wound didn't look that serious."

Ross put on his glasses and looked up at her. He noticed the slight tension in her posture and bit back another sigh. There was no easy way to say this so it was probably best to get it out in the open as soon as possible.

"Once he'd made his statement, he refused any further medical treatment," explained Ross.

Eames raised a questioning eyebrow but remained silent, wondering where this was going to lead. _Was it her imagination, was that a look of sympathy or was it worry in Ross's eyes?_

"He was dying, Eames." said the captain, "He had AIDS."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It took a moment for Ross's words to sink in but when they did Eames felt slightly sick.

"AIDS?" she finally managed to ask in a slightly shaky voice, not looking at her boss.

Ross nodded, feeling a pang of sympathy as he saw the shock on his detective's face.

"I just received that information, Eames," he said quietly. "And the doctor has requested that you go for an immediate blood test."

His words seemed to snap Eames out of her stunned state and she looked up at him, eyes flashing.

"It is necessary, Eames," Ross continued before Eames could say anything. "After all you did have an open wound. But I assure you, this shall be kept as confidential as possible."

"What's the use?" snapped Eames. "If those tests come back positive my career is over, isn't it?"

"Let's take a step back, we don't know how the tests are going to come back, Eames," he said softly. "Even if, I repeat, if the tests come back positive, you will still have a place in NYPD and Major Case if you wish to stay."

"You're going to let me go into the field even if I am HIV positive?" asked Eames incredulously.

"No," replied Ross. "That's not going to be possible and we both know why. However you have other skills, Eames, skills that NYPD and Major Case can utilize. It would just mean a matter of adjustment."

Eames laughed but there was no humor in the sound, only a faint bitterness.

"With all due respect, sir, that's never going to work," she said quietly, keeping his gaze fixed on the bandage on her arm. "I'm a detective. And people are going to start talking if I'm confined to 1PP."

Ross didn't have a counter argument for that and kept silent, watching Eames carefully as she got up and started pacing around the office, cradling her injured arm across her chest.

"I can't get out of this test, can I?" asked Eames finally.

"I'm afraid not, Eames," replied Ross. "The risk is too high."

Eames took a deep breath and schooled her features into an impassive mask before turning to face Ross.

"With your permission, sir, I'd like to go to the hospital now and get things over and done with as soon as possible," she said, keeping her tone neutral with supreme effort.

"Of course, Eames," said Ross, his tone brisk. "And… Alex," he called out, stopping her just as Eames was about to open the door.

Eames turned slightly, her eyes registering surprise at the rare use of her first name.

"You have plenty of leave due," continued Ross. "Take as much time as you need. We can discuss your... future and make any ...changes if necessary once the results of the tests come in. All right?"

"Yes, sir," replied Eames stiffly before leaving the office.

Once she'd gone, Ross sighed wearily. He'd already noticed the signs of Eames' withdrawal into herself and was sure that other people, especially Goren, would notice it quickly as well.

As long as it didn't compromise anyone else, Eames had every right to keep the news to herself. Knowing how private Eames could be, he was sure that she wasn't going to say anything to anyone, not even Goren, at least until the test results came back.

He was sure that Eames was going to take the time off and now he, somehow, had to keep Goren busy without arousing his suspicions. That was going to be the most difficult part, at least until Eames told Goren what was going on. Much as he wanted to, he couldn't tell him, or anyone else for that matter, anything. That was for Eames and Eames only to decide.

Sighing, he picked up a few folders and started going through them. It was going to be a very long couple of weeks.

Goren looked up as he heard the door to Ross's office opening, ready with a witty comment to tease his partner. The words died on his lips and his good mood evaporated the instant he got a good look at his partner's face.

Eames was looking a bit pale and her face looked like it was carved out of stone and the hard yet expressionless look had Goren's mental alarms going off immediately. Something was very wrong, he knew that for sure. When he'd first met Eames, that seemingly, uncaring mask she could don had almost fooled him, but after working with her for as long as he had, he now knew that the more impassive Eames got the more emotion she was trying to hide.

"What is it, Eames?" he asked, his concern increasing as Eames ignored him and picked up her jacket. "You ok?"

Eames finally turned and looked at him and Goren felt his worry rise exponentially. Her expression was more impassive than he'd ever seen before and even her normally expressive eyes were completely blank, betraying nothing.

"I've got to go," said Eames quietly, her voice as impassive as her face.

"Whoa, wait a sec," said Goren, jumping up and blocking his partner's path as Eames pulled on her jacket and started to straighten her desk. "What's Ross got for us now?

"Not us, Goren. I said I have to go somewhere. Now please get out of my way."

Goren was about to argue but something in the tone of Eames' voice stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was but there was something bothering her and bothering her a lot. Confronting her in the middle of the squad room wasn't going to get him anyway.

He was about to follow Eames as she stalked past him but a hand on his forearm stopped him.

"She looks like she needs a bit of space, Bobby," said Logan softly, the look in his eyes indicating that Goren wasn't the only one worried about Eames. "Just give her some time to calm down a bit."

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Logan," said Goren. "I've never seen her like this before."

"Will confronting her right now do any good?" he asked quietly.

"No," sighed Goren, running a hand through his hair. "You're right. She'll just clam up even more."

"You can talk to her later, Bobby," soothed Logan. "You know she'll open up to you, sooner or later."

"Yeah, I suppose so," said Goren, smiling ruefully at him.

"I've just had a lot of experience being a sounding board for you and Alex. Now c'mon. The sooner you finish this report the sooner you can go after her. Ok?" smiled Logan.

"Ok," agreed Goren reluctantly.

Sighing, he tried to concentrate on writing his report but his mind kept drifting towards his partner. Whatever was bothering Eames, he had to try to her to talk about it and soon. After spending fifteen minutes trying to get his thoughts organized enough to write up his report it hit him, that for the first time since they met, that he knew what Eames had to put up with his odd behavior.

ooOOoo

Eames struggled to keep her face impassive as she waited for a nurse to tell her she could leave. Every staff member she'd come across had been extremely sympathetic but that had only grated on her nerves. The doctor had tried to reassure her that all these tests were only a precaution, that there was more than a good chance that she would test negative. In her stunned state, the words had barely registered in her mind.

She tried to think practically but her normal analytical abilities refused to work, overwhelmed by the bitterness over her predicament. It just wasn't fair. She had only been doing her job and doing it well if the responses she and Goren had had after it was all over were any gauge to go by.

Suddenly she recalled a comment that one of the medics had made, one that she hadn't taken much notice of at the time. Her quick actions had saved the man's life. But for what? What good had that done? It only prolonged the inevitable for a while and had screwed up her life in the progress. She should have just left the guy alone. This was entirely his fault.

Eames was immediately ashamed of those thoughts the minute they arose. That wasn't entirely fair. The man had tried to warn her, she should have paid more attention. She should have realized that the man wasn't just talking inanely due to shock. Should have...

"Detective Eames?"

Eames was startled out of her reverie by a young nurse who held out a clipboard to the woman.

"We just need you to sign these forms and you're free to go," she said softly.

Working on auto-pilot, Eames swiftly signed them and handed them back to her.

"Don't worry," she said softly as she took the forms from her, her eyes warm and sympathetic. "It could be nothing."

While a small part of her appreciated the concern, a larger part of her resented it, seeing it as pity.

"Really? What are the chances of that?" She snapped.

"Your life won't have to change all that much," she tried again hesitantly.

That was just the last straw and Eames glared at her, making her back away slightly.

"You have no idea," she said coldly before stalking out of the room. "how this is going to impact my life."

ooOOoo

Goren cursed the heavy traffic as he tried to make his way over to Eames' place. _Why did the traffic always have to be at it's worst when you were in a hurry?_ He'd had trouble concentrating and the report had taken longer than he'd expected and he hadn't heard from Eames at all since she'd walked out of the squad room. The fact that she had switched off her cell phone and wasn't picking up her home phone either only added to his worry.

Something had really gotten to Eames but he couldn't figure out what. It obviously had something to do with why Ross had called her into his office. Goren toyed with the idea that maybe it had something to do with the task force rumored to be starting up. That would probably explain why Eames' barriers had come down so hard and why she hadn't said anything. He knew Ross was always pushing Eames to get on one of the task forces to bump up her career. But then again there could be several other reasons that he hadn't thought of... yet.

He heaved a sigh of relief, as the traffic finally started moving again. The sooner he was able to talk to Eames, the better he would feel about things.

**ooOOoo**

After pouring herself another drink, Eames sank back onto her sofa. She silently contemplated the glass she was nursing in her hands, while trying to gain some control over the turmoil in her mind. She had hoped that the alcohol would help dull the pain a bit but so far it wasn't helping. Nothing was helping.

The hospital visit had made him realize something that hadn't occurred to him earlier. Or was that something she didn't want to face? Despite the increasing awareness and advances people still acted...differently... around HIV positive people. Now that she had the slightest taste of it, she understood why many HIV patients were reluctant to come forward. In some ways, they were now outcasts in society.

It wasn't that she was completely unfamiliar with that feeling. She had known some of that feeling when she'd been working Vice. But this was just ...different somehow. This wasn't of her making and that hurt. If it were painful when strangers acted like that, what would it be like when people she knew, people she liked and respected started reacting like that?

Sighing, she emptied the remains of her glass in one gulp and poured herself another drink before huddling further down into the couch. She needed time to come to terms with the fact that soon her life was going to have to go through a complete makeover. She couldn't tell anyone, not yet anyway. No one would be able to understand, not even Goren.

She sighed, sipping the whiskey; whiskey she kept especially for her partner, she kept sipping from the glass as her thoughts drifted to her partner. Her life wasn't the only one that was going to change. On one level, she knew that Goren wasn't going to reject her but if she was finding it hard to come to terms with her situation, how could she expect Goren to accept it straight away?

There was no way she was going to be let out into the field again and that meant Goren was going to have to adjust to not having her around to watch his back. Pushing all false modesty aside, Eames knew that she and Goren were the best, both excellent at their work as individuals and outstanding as a team. Although the teamwork had come at a price.

In some ways the two of them had become dependent on each other, to the extent that neither of them had the same level of self-confidence that they did before they were teamed together. Now that she was out of the picture, Goren was going to have to learn to be completely self-reliant again. Or learn to adapt to a new partner. Whatever the case, things were definitely going to be different now. She couldn't blame Goren if he came to resent that.

There was no other option. She was going to have to shut Goren out. Completely. The thought made her feel sick and she knew it was going to hurt Goren too but it was for the best. The faster he lost his dependence on her, the better off he would be in the end.

She didn't want to lose her friendship with Goren; she valued it too much. But if she had to choose between keeping that close bond and risking Goren's life or losing the bond and not endangering Goren, then she had to go with the latter option. Hopefully that way, given time, they'd be able to patch things up between them, maintain some level of friendship.

She continued to stare sightlessly into the distance, while making steady progress on the whiskey. After the strain of the day, combined with the alcohol, she felt herself crashing, and she sagged wearily against the cushions. Wrapped in misery, she didn't even hear the empty glass land with a soft thud on the carpet, when her grip loosened on it in her sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ringing the doorbell once again, Goren felt his worry rise when Eames didn't answer. He was pretty sure his partner was at home and even though he had the key, he was reluctant to use it. Considering her mood when she'd left 1PP, the last thing Goren wanted to do was startle her by suddenly entering the house.

Finally his patience running out he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. Silently, he entered the living room and came to an abrupt halt at the doorway. The room was in semi-darkness, giving it a gloomy look and there was a half-empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table, a bottle that Goren was sure had been full two days ago, when he had last been here. Judging by the awkward position in which Eames was sprawled out on the couch, he thought it likely that she'd passed out.

Biting back a sigh, Goren cautiously entered the room. Whatever was going on, it was obviously a lot worse than he'd thought possible and he had to find the underlying cause of it soon. After putting the glass and whiskey bottle away, he went back to his partner and gently shook hers shoulder to wake him up.

"Whaaa??" groaned Eames, as she burrowed further into the couch.

"C'mon Alex Wake up. It's me, Eames." said Goren firmly. "What the hell are you trying to do, huh?"

Seeing that Eames was slowly dragging herself out of her stupor, Goren gently tried to help her up into a sitting position.

"Don't touch me," snapped Eames, giving him a sudden sharp shove that nearly had him tumbling over the coffee table. "And what the hell are you doing here?"

Goren was stunned by his partner's violent reaction but wrote it off to the alcohol she'd consumed. He'd had a lot of experience dealing with someone dead drunk. Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, he spoke as soothingly as possible.

"You weren't answering your calls," he explained as Eames dragged herself up into a sitting position, cradling her head in her hands. "I was worried. What the hell's going on, Eames?"

"None of your damn business," growled Eames as she staggered to her feet.

She swayed drunkenly and Goren immediately reached out to try and steady her.

"… Get your hands off me, I said, DON'T touch me," snarled Eames, carefully enunciating each syllable as she yanked her arm away. "Just get the hell out of here."

Goren recoiled slightly at the harsh words, feeling hurt. It had been a long day, he was also tired and he reined in his temper with an effort.

"Take it easy, Alex," he said in as calm a voice as he could manage. "I'm only trying to help."

"Well you can't," replied Eames harshly as she staggered towards the kitchen. "No one can."

The bitterness in her tone stunned Goren and his concern for his friend came rushing back, overriding his temper.

"Alex, please. Just tell me..."

"I said it's none of your business," snapped Eames, her voice rising with anger. "Now get the hell out of here."

"Alex, I..."

"GET. OUT," yelled Eames and Goren hurriedly backed away as he found himself starting down the barrel of Eames' Glock.

"Calm down, Alex" Goren pleaded, a slight tremor in his voice. "Just put the gun down, ok?"

"Just...go...away," whispered Eames, tightening her grip on her gun. "Please. Just. Leave. Me. Alone." As she continued to stare him down, she added very clearly, "Don't try any of your head fakes with me, I'm not going to do anything stupid. Just please leave me alone, I'll see you tomorrow. Please, Bobby. Just go."

"All right," said Goren softly, carefully backing away, never taking his eyes off the gun. "I'm leaving. Ok?"

It was obvious that Eames wasn't herself. He was probably making things worse by being persistent. Although he hated admitting it, he was more than a little shaken by the wild look in Eames' eyes. Maybe if he just waited outside the house and came back after a few minutes, Eames would have calmed down by then. He'd get a little breathing space to try and figure out how to approach this.

Eames followed his slow progress out of the house, her hand shaking slightly but her intention never wavering. Goren couldn't help but wince at the noise as Eames slammed the door shut. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he tried to get his thoughts in order.

_What the hell was going on for Eames to lose control like this?_ If he was brutally honest, he had to admit that Eames had frightened him in there. Pressing his ear to the door, he suddenly realized that there were no sounds coming from inside and he didn't know whether that was a good sign or not.

After a few minutes, he tried to open the door again and cursed under his breath as he realized that Eames had jammed the door shut with something. He walked out to sit in his car and think things out. Opening his binder, he starting jotting down what he knew, when he'd noticed a change in her, anything he could think of to give him a way in.

He was still trying to figure out how to handle the situation when his cell phone buzzed. Muttering another curse, he answered the call and had to struggle not to scream his frustration out when he heard that Ross wanted him back at 1PP immediately.

He was seriously considering ignoring the order when a thought struck him. Eames had been behaving oddly ever since his meeting with Ross earlier today. Maybe Ross would be able to shed some light on why Eames was behaving so strangely. It was a long shot, but it was all he had. Wearily and reluctantly, with one last look at the barred door before starting his car and leaving for downtown.

**ooOOoo**

Once Goren left, Eames propped a chair against the door, effectively jamming it before putting her gun aside and sitting on the floor wearily. Despite her inebriated state, she'd not missed the look of fear in Goren's eyes and cursed herself for hurting her friend and partner like that. But it had been necessary, hadn't it? Goren was safer this way.

That didn't mean it hurt any less. With a groan, she dropped her aching head into her hands again. She had to get away for a while, go somewhere where no one would find her. Take some time to rebuild those mental barriers that had served her so well all these years. Ross had said she could take time off. Might as well make use of that.

Wearily she dragged herself to her feet and staggered towards the phone, struggling to try to focus on the blurred numbers.

**ooOOoo**

"What is it, now?" snapped Goren as he finally stormed into the squad room.

Logan let out a soft sigh, knowing that the news was not going to improve Goren's mood at all.

"Stakeout duty," he said quietly. "Since Harley's sick, Ross wants you to help out Gordon with his case. He'll be here any minute to pick you up. "

"Just great," growled Goren, nearly snatching the file that Logan held out to him.

Logan hesitated before speaking again, "What's going on with Eames?" he asked quietly. "Did you manage to get anything out of her?"

Goren sank into a chair and idly flipped through the contents of the file. "No," he replied and Logan didn't miss the faint undercurrents of hurt and what seemed to be fear in his voice.

"You ok, Goren? What happened?" he persisted, concern tainting his words.

Goren hesitated for a moment. He was feeling puzzled, worried and wished he could talk to someone about it but he wasn't going to give away his partner. Eames was his friend as well as his partner and he knew her well enough to know that it took a lot for Eames to let herself get that intoxicated.

Eames was upset about something and it had been the alcohol talking when she'd blown up earlier. He was sticking with that theory, for now. All he had to do was give Eames some time to sober up and then slowly approach her again. Eames would open up to him eventually, she always did. There was no need to bring anyone else into the equation.

"She wasn't up to talking as yet," replied Goren, finally. "But I'll get back to her once this stakeout is over."

"She told you where she's going, then?" asked Logan, sounding relieved as Goren tried to focus on the contents of the file again.

"What?" asked Goren sharply, looking up immediately. "What are you talking about, Logan? What do you mean … where she's going?"

"I thought she'd have said something to you," said Logan confessed hesitantly.

"Logan," Goren growled warningly.

"All right," Logan sighed. "I guess she didn't say anything to you. After we talked, Eames called in for Ross. Asked for time off and Ross granted it."

"Shit!" said Goren, jumping to his feet. "For how long?"

Logan hesitated again before replying. "From what I heard, it was rather indefinite, but it seemed like extended personal time. Starting immediately."

"SONOFABITCH," Goren exclaimed, slamming the file onto the desk, causing Logan to jump at the sudden explosion. "First she clams up, then he gets drunk and now he does this? What the fuck is going on?"

"Goren, calm down," said Logan. Glancing around the room, he noticed that Gordon was standing in the doorway, watching Goren warily. "Look, Gordon's here, you'd better get going before Ross comes out here. I'll try to find out what's going on, ok? I promise." Both men turned to see Ross watching them from his office.

Goren took a deep breath to try to calm down and nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Go on," encouraged Logan. "In the meantime, I'll try and keep an eye on Alex as much as possible, all right?"

"Ok, thanks," muttered Goren before stalking out of the room.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER…

Alex sighed and with a huge effort, resisted the urge to have another drink. Getting up, she started pacing around the tiny room. Soon after she'd called Ross, she'd packed a few things and left her house before Goren or Logan could catch her. This small cabin had been her father's fishing retreat when he was still on the force. For years now, the family only used it rarely on weekends. Even Goren didn't know about this place. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to stay but at least it was quiet and she was never disturbed.

She knew that Goren was probably climbing the walls and driving everyone else mad trying to find her, not that he would be able to, and a large part of her felt really lousy for putting him through this. But she needed the time alone, to sort things out for herself before she was ready to face anyone again.

Other people's attitude was going to be the hardest part to face. Even the thought of everyone either walking on eggshells around her or just totally avoiding her made her feel bitter.

She'd been trying to find a way out of this situation and the only one that she came up with was to leave NYPD. Sure, it was going to be painful and it would probably upset some people, especially Goren and possibly Ross. But if there was some way she could make them glad that she was leaving, it could possibly reduce the heartache they'd suffer, wouldn't it?

The thought of adopting the hardened persona she'd been forced to create to protect herself when she'd been working Vice was leaving her with a foul taste in her mouth. Shutting Goren out was going to be the hardest part but if she could somehow achieve that, cutting herself off from everyone else would be easier.

She pondered that train of thought for a long time before finally coming up with sort of plan. She'd give herself a few days to reconstruct the old, uncaring persona, the one she'd hoped she'd never have to use again. Then she'd go back to Major Case until the final test results came back. If she was going to have to get used to a desk job she may as well get started on it right away and effectively burn her bridges within NYPD while she was at it.

With the decision finally made, she wearily flopped onto the sofa-bed to try and get some rest. Things were going to be painful over the next week or so but, in the long run, it would be for the best. It had to be. So why didn't that make her feel any better? Taking a deep breath she tried to will herself to rest but it took a long time for her to finally fall asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Goren was in a bad mood as he strode off the elevator and came around the corner to the Major Case squad room. It had been a week since he'd last seen or spoken to Eames. Not only had he not heard from his partner, but he hadn't had a chance to try and find her.

Ross had not only kept him busy, even sending him on errands that the most junior uniform officer could have handled, but had done the same to anyone who would be willing to try and help him find some trace of where Eames was or what was going on. That had not only made him mad at his boss but had also convinced him that Ross was trying to prevent him or anyone else from finding Eames. The question was why?

Had Eames gone on a special assignment, undercover or something? That would explain why his partner had clammed up, but it wouldn't explain why Eames had gone off the deep end, drinking most of his bottle of Glenlivet. The only thing he could think off that would upset Eames would be reassignment. If that was the case, Goren would have been told about that by now. She would have told him that.

Sighing, he realized he was no closer to finding out what this was all about than he'd been when this had all started. Lost in thought, it took him several minutes to notice the tense atmosphere in the squad room. Puzzled he made his way towards his desk and came to an abrupt halt when he saw Eames sitting at her desk, eyes fixed resolutely on her computer screen.

For a moment Goren felt torn, unable to decide whether to give into the relief he felt that Eames was safe or vent his frustration at her secrecy and indulge the urge to demand to know where the hell she'd been. As he made his way towards his partner, Logan caught his eye. The man's face was tense with worry and his gaze momentarily flicked over to Eames before he threw Goren a half-warning, half-cautious look.

As he got a proper look at his partner, he realized what Logan was trying to tell him. Eames looked exhausted, her face was gaunt and pale and she looked like she'd lost weight in the last week. What struck Goren most was the aura of hostility that was practically radiating from her. Her expression even more impassive than Goren had ever seen before.

He realized that whatever had been bothering Eames before was still eating away at her and that she was going to have to tread very carefully if she was to try and get anything out of the stubborn woman. Swallowing his annoyance, he plastered his best 'Welcome back, partner' expression on his face and went to greet Eames.

**ooOOoo**

By the end of the week, Goren was ready to scream. Literally scream and was amazed he had managed not to lose his temper completely, so far. He didn't know who he was angrier with, Ross or Eames.

For some reason Ross was keeping Eames confined to 1PP, she rarely even left the squad room and he could figure out what the two of them were up to. This odd confinement had left Goren picking up simple one-man odd jobs, and that was pissing him off no end. It was obvious from Ross's sudden tolerant behavior towards Eames that the captain knew what was going on but, as usual, he was giving nothing away. As for Eames ...

No, he knew who he was angrier with. It was Eames. Angry and worried in equal measure and if he was honest, thoroughly confused as well. Eames seemed to be going out of her way to isolate herself and push everyone as far away as possible and today had been worse than usual. She kept doing a disappearing act once she left 1PP. With a sinking heart, Goren realized that Eames was steadily reverting to the remote and aloof outsider she'd been when she worked Vice. She had told him about her years 'walking the point', and what she'd had to do to reconcile herself to that world. By why now, after all these years was she wearing that mask again?

After a week of her sudden change in attitude, everyone else had concluded that they were better off leaving Eames alone but Goren was determined not to give up. Now he was more than sure that Eames was hiding something. But what? Was Eames trying to protect him? If so, from what?

As he glanced in the direction of his boss' office, more questions flooded his thoughts. Was Ross trying to keep him out of the way because Eames was still on some top secret undercover op or what? At a complete loss, with only unanswered and unanswerable questions hounding his thoughts, he bit back a frustrated growl. He had to get some sort of breakthrough soon because he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep his temper in check.

A sudden movement caught his attention and he turned to find Eames heading towards the coffee machine, not missing how everyone avoided her, their expressions wary. He glanced at Logan and noted the mixture of hurt, anger and concern in his expression as he followed Eames' progress across the room.

As if sensing, he was being watched Logan looked around to face Goren, a clear message in his eyes. _'She can't go on like this, Goren, get her to open up.'_ Goren acknowledged him with a slight nod and went after his partner.

"C'mon Eames," he stated firmly, gripping one of her elbows as he reached her. "We need to talk."

"How many times," said Eames, her voice icy and hostile as she pulled her arm away, "do I have to tell you, Don't touch me."

"All right, Alex," hissed Goren unable to keep the exasperation out of his voice. "This has gotten old, real old. Now you can either come with me and we can talk somewhere else or we can settle this right here in front of everyone."

"There's nothing to talk about," said Eames with icy calm.

"Bullshit," snapped Goren. "You've been a walking glacier all week, you've been stuck at 'in office' while I've had to play the odd job man despite the fact that there have been cases that we would normally have been sent out on, you're telling me nothing is going on. Don't give me that CRAP."

"I said there's nothing to talk about," said Eames in the same flat tone as before. "It's on a need to know basis and you don't need to know."

"The hell I don't," raged Goren. On some level, he was aware that the two of them had attracted the attention of everyone in the room but he didn't care. "We're partners, Eames. That means we're supposed to work TOGETHER. If you keep this up how are we supposed to work TOGETHER as a team? I don't know how much longer…"

Goren paused to catch his breath, glaring at his 'partner', searching the normally expressive eyes for some sort of reaction. His worry went up a notch or two when Eames hazel eyes remained as shuttered as her face. After looking at Goren intently for a moment, she finally spoke up.

"Good," she said quietly. "Then I suppose we won't have to worry about working together for much longer, will we?"

That did it. For a split second, Goren was stunned and then all the frustration and worry of the past two weeks was about to find an outlet as he drew breath to lash out at Eames, but refrained as he felt Logan come up along side and grab his arm to divert his attention.

"That's enough. Both of you," he said firmly. Even though the two detectives had been going at each other fiercely, they'd managed to keep their voices low. But the tension in the room was felt by everyone on the floor

Goren took a deep breath to calm down, his anger slowly evaporating as he looked at his partner. Eames had taken several steps back, looking shaken as she bounced a fist against her thigh.

"Alex. You ok?" asked Logan, stepping between the two detectives. Eames seemed to snap out of her trance as she gently nodded her head as Logan dropped a hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

"Don't touch me," she snarled as she shrank away from Logan's hand. "Just leave me alone. All of you."

Everyone hurriedly got out of her way as she stormed out of the room, leaving a stunned silence in her wake. Goren exchanged a bewildered look with Logan, neither had missed the faint trace of panic in Eames' voice and judging by her expression, neither had she.

"I do believe there is work to be done around here." Ross's firm voice startled everyone back into the present and they all hurriedly went about their business.

"Goren, my office, please."

Goren's shoulders slumped with defeat. Great, one of Ross's rants was the last thing he needed right now. He caught Logan's sympathetic look and managed to dredge up a rueful smile before heading off towards Ross' office.

"Please shut the door and sit down, detective," said Ross as he walked around his desk and sat behind it.

Goren was surprised but did as he was told. Maybe things weren't going to be quite as bad as he'd expected if Ross had asked him to sit down. He couldn't help but fidget slightly as Ross steepled his fingers in front of his face. The captain had a thoughtful look on his face and Goren's patience finally broke.

"Captain, you know exactly what's going on, don't you?" he said bluntly. "Well, Eames is my partner and I think I have the right to know what's going on. How..."

"Goren," said Ross firmly and Goren subsided. "Under most circumstances, I would agree with you, however this situation is... unique."

"Then what's going on?" asked Goren, struggling to keep the pleading note out of his voice.

Ross sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose before putting them on again. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to tell you anything about this, Bobby. That is for Alex to decide. All I can tell you is that while I am disappointed in and disapprove of Eames' behavior over the past two weeks, given the circumstances, it is ... understandable.

Goren opened his mouth to ask another question but stopped himself with an effort when he realized that Ross's attention was now fixed on his small desk calendar.

"What circumstances, Captain? He cautiously ventured.

"Take the rest of the day off, Goren," said Ross suddenly, his gaze still fixed on the calendar. "I am sure Eames has gone home. Don't you agree?"

"Captain?" asked Goren, feeling puzzled.

Ross tapped a finger against his desk for a few moments before turning to look up at Goren again. Goren felt his concern for his partner shoot up again as he noted the worry in Ross' eyes.

"I have reason to believe that the next few days are going to be extremely difficult for Alex," said Ross quietly. "Whether she's willing to admit it or not, she's going to need some support to get through them."

Goren's eyes widened with surprise that the unusual show of compassion from his boss but he wisely kept quiet for once.

"Well, what are you waiting for, man," said Ross in his usual brisk tone. "Get going."

"Yes, sir," said Goren, his mind still reeling slightly.

Ross's voice stopped him in his tracks just as he reached out for the doorknob. "Bobby..."

"Yes, Captain?"

"This conversation never took place. Is that clear?"

"Absolutely clear."

"Good. Now settle this, as soon as possible."

"Right away. And thank you." Bobby said as he pulled open the door.

"Get on it." Ross sighed as Goren left his office. He'd probably given away more than he'd intended to but something had to be done. The tense atmosphere in the squad room was compromising some people's standard of work. He wasn't sure when the doctor was supposed to contact Eames but he knew that the test results were due any day now. He just hoped that the outcome was a good one. Selfish motive or otherwise, he didn't want to lose one of his best detectives.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Goren hesitated a moment before unlocking the door to Eames' house and letting himself in. He was still feeling hurt and angry over the way Eames had clinically tried to cut him off but his talk with Ross had only reinforced his idea that Eames was desperately trying to hide something, something that was really upsetting her, that she really needed to talk about.

Cautiously he made his way towards the living room, being careful not to be too silent so that he didn't startle his partner, not that it was easy to try and sneak up on Eames. Sometimes he could have sworn that his partner had the hearing capacities of a bat.

He came to an abrupt halt at the doorway, his worry skyrocketing as he caught sight of his partner. Eames was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, her gaze fixed on the cordless phone resting on the coffee table in front of her. The frozen mask that had been her permanent expression over the past week was gone, replaced by a utterly miserable and defeated look that had Goren's heart contracting painfully.

He slowly approached his friend and the fact that Eames didn't seem to register his presence made him worry even more. Crouching down beside her, he took the time to look at his partner closely. Eames looked exhausted, her face pale with stress and the lines of strain and the dark circles around her eyes were mute testimony to the fact that she hadn't been sleeping properly at all. Judging by how gaunt she looked, she obviously hadn't been eating properly either.

Eames still didn't seem to realize he was there and Goren bit back a sigh, not sure how to approach things. Recalling Eames' reactions earlier, he was reluctant to try to get his partner's attention by touching him but finally he felt he had no choice. If that was the only way to get his partner out of this trance, then it had to be done.

"Alex?" he said cautiously, tapping his partner's knee lightly. "Alex. It's me, Eames. C'mon, snap out of it. Talk to me."

He was slightly startled when Eames suddenly spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't, Bobby. Please."

The borderline pleading tone had Goren complying with the request immediately.

"What's wrong, Alex?" he persisted, shifting so that he was facing Eames. "C'mon Alex you can't keep bottling it in like this. You're starting to scare me."

"Sorry," whispered Alex, still not looking at him. "…and sorry you have to keep calling me Alex." Bobby had always called her Eames, very rarely by her given name and only when he was concerned about her.

"Just tell me what's going on," requested Goren, fighting to keep the desperation out of his voice. "Please, Alex."

Eames closed her eyes and took a deep breath, a myriad of emotions flitting across her face before she finally turned to look at Goren. Eames felt her heart lurch painfully once again when she saw the pain in her friend's eyes and his anger started fading away at the sight of her distress.

"The Rodriguez case," said Eames finally, her voice so soft that Goren had to strain to hear her. "The witness died."

Goren blinked uncomprehendingly at Eames. There had to be more to it than that, Eames' behavior had definitely not been that of a guilt trip. Seeing that Eames was having difficulty continuing, he made a soft encouraging sound. Eames chewed at her lower lip, her gaze falling to the fading scar, left by the knife, on her left arm before continuing.

"He...he had AIDS, Bobby," she whispered, her voice shaky.

Goren was too stunned to do anything but stare at Eames in shock. Following Eames' gaze, he felt the horror engulf him as he realized what Eames was trying to tell him.

"And you had an open wound," he whispered. "Oh my god, Alex." He reached out for her but stopped as she pulled back from him.

Goren watched helplessly and Eames seemed to deflate even further and struggled to find her voice again.

"What... what about your test results?" he asked. "Did they..."

"The results are supposed to be back today. I'm waiting for the call…" said Eames, her tone dull.

"But there's a chance right?" asked Goren, trying to sound encouraging. "A chance that you're ok?"

"Get real, Bobby," snapped Eames, his eyes flashing suddenly. "The guy was bleeding all over the place and I had a bloody cut on my arm. What are the chances that I'm safe?"

"Slim," replied Goren honestly. "But they're there."

"What if they're not?" countered Eames sharply.

Unable to reply to that, Goren floundered for something to say.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked, unable to keep the hurt out of his voice completely.

His words seemed to drain all the fight out of Eames and she slumped against the sofa.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I was having a hard time accepting it myself. So how could I expect you to..."

"We're friends, Alex," said Bobby gently. "And friends help each other. You're always reminding me about that, remember? We could have dealt with it, together."

"I...I know we could have," She stammered. "But I didn't want people being sympathetic or

pitying me if they found out."

"I wouldn't have said anything, Eames," said Goren feeling a bit hurt.

"I know, Bobby," sighed Eames. "But walls have ears. I didn't want to risk anyone else hearing anything until I was sure. And I think I just... just needed some time to myself."

"Ok, Eames. I can understand that, " said Goren in a gentle voice. "It happens. But this past week. Why? I need to understand that."

Eames winced and Goren didn't miss the guilt that flashed across her features.

"I'm sorry," Eames whispered. "I know I was hurting you, I intended to. But didn't mean to either, not really. But I..."

"Whoa, slow down," interrupted Goren. "Take it easy. You're confusing me now. Just calm down and start from the beginning, ok?"

"I really screwed up, didn't I?" muttered Eames, looking even more miserable.

"We all do sometimes," soothed Goren. "But why don't you let me decide for myself, yeah?"

"Ok," said Eames, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I just figured that since I wasn't going to be allowed out into the field again, the sooner you stopped trusting me or depending on me to watch your back, the better it'd be for you. And I couldn't see myself coping with a desk job, so I thought that if I could make everyone glad to see me leave, the better off they'd be in the long run..."

Eames trailed off, her uncertainty showing on her face.

"I just didn't expect it to be this difficult," she concluded. "I'm sorry, Bobby. I really am."

"Hey," said Goren softly, placing a hand on Eames' shoulder and squeezing it gently as Eames' explanation drove away the last remnants of his anger. Although her actions had been hurtful, she been well-intentioned. It was obvious that the plan had been extremely painful for her to carry out. Once he was sure he had Eames' full attention, he continued.

"It's ok, Alex. You weren't thinking straight. And given the situation, I can't say I blame you."

"You sure?" asked Eames, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Positive," said Goren firmly. "From now on, we're in this together, ok?"

"Ok," said Eames softly. "And Bobby."

"Yeah?"

"Thank-you."

"Don't mention it. Now c'mon. Try and get some rest before you collapse. And when's the last time you ate properly?"

Eames shrugged her shoulders a little sheepishly. "Don't know," she mumbled. "But I can't sleep, Bobby. Not until I know for sure."

"I said try, Eames," insisted Goren. "At least just lie down for a while. I'm going to be right here, ok? I'm not going anywhere."

"Ok," sighed Eames, suddenly struggling to keep her eyes open.

Goren waited until she'd settled down on the couch before calling up a nearby take-away on his cell, not wanting to use Eames' phone just in case the doctor tried to call. By the time he'd finished giving the order, Eames had already dropped of into a restless doze. Goren sighed as he settled down into one of the armchairs. All that was left to do was the waiting.

The shrill peal of the doorbell had Eames bolting upright and Goren flashed her an apologetic look as she got up to go get the food. He couldn't blame Eames for being so edgy, he was feeling a little frayed himself and they weren't even his test results. He'd had time to think things through and was cursing the unfairness of it all. Eames had been right about one main thing, both their lives were going to have to change now and it wasn't going to be easy, especially for Alex.

He'd just about shut the door and gone back inside when the phone rang. He saw Eames flinch visibly before the barriers went back up. Knowing that Eames would want a bit of space while answering the call, he quietly went into the kitchen and put the containers on the table before heading back into the living room.

Eames' back was to him so he couldn't see the look on his friend's face as she quietly put the phone down. Goren stood frozen, not knowing what to expect, and his heart lurched painfully as Eames rested her forehead against the wall nearest to her with a ragged sigh, her shoulders shaking slightly.

_No_, his mind screamed, as he slowly started approaching his partner. _This wasn't happening. It just wasn't fair. Alex hadn't done anything to deserve this._

"Alex" he asked cautiously, tentatively placing a hand on Eames' shoulder.

What could he say? Sorry just wouldn't cover it. It would be hypocritical to say that everything would be fine, that things would work out for the best because it wasn't always like that.

"Negative," said Eames, her voice so soft that Goren wasn't sure if he'd heard right.

"What was that?" asked Goren, stepping closer to his friend.

"Every test... came back... negative," whispered Eames before turning round to face Goren,

his eyes overly bright. "I'm clear, Bobby."

For a few moments, Bobby could only blink dumbly. Then as the words slowly registered, he realized that Eames was limp with relief and not shock. With a whoop of joy, he suddenly pulled her into a huge bear hug, grinning broadly, as he heard Eames' startled exclamation.

"They're absolutely sure?" he demanded as he pulled away, beaming at Eames.

"110 percent." said Eames, her voice still a bit shaky but managing a lopsided smile. "I'll probably have to go for another test in about six months, just to be on the safe side, but for now..."

They just looked at each other before both of them broke out into relieved laughter.

"Oh boy," sighed Eames, leaning against the wall and running her hands through her hair as their laughter died down.

"I take it this means you're staying," said Bobby and although his voice was cheerful Eames didn't' miss the hint of anxiety in it.

"Well I plan to, as long as you don't mind partnering a walking glacier," said Eames.

Goren felt a slight pang of guilt as he remembered his harsh words from earlier in the day but it disappeared when he realized that there was no trace of accusation in Eames' eyes.

"Hey, if you don't mind partnering an impulsive hot-head, I'm game," retorted Goren.

"I'm sure I'll be able to find one or two positive attributes to offset those," said Eames, her mouth curving up into a wry grin.

"Yeah, me too," grinned Goren.

Eames merely smiled in reply and looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments before straightening up and holding her hand out.

"Thanks," she said softly. "Thanks, partner,"

"Anytime, partner," replied Goren, grasping Eames' hand firmly. "Anytime, but not anytime again, too soon."

"Yeah, agreed" sighed Eames, giving his hand a slight squeeze before letting go.

"Can I make a suggestion?" asked Goren.

"Sure," Eames replied, waiting for the other shoe to drop now.

"Let's eat."

This time Eames' laughter was filled with genuine amusement.

NEXT MORNING…

Mike Logan looked up as he heard someone enter come around the corner from the elevator and felt a spike of relief go through him as he noticed that Eames and Goren seemed to be completely at ease with each other again. Eames still looked a bit pale and gaunt, but other than that, it looked as if things were getting back to normal.

"Hey, Goren, Eames, mornin'," he said, eyeing both of them carefully as they came over to his desk.

"Hi," said Eames, giving Logan an apologetic look as Goren grinned at her.

"Ross wanted to see you right away, if you came in today, Alex," he informed her. "He said he thought you might."

"Ok, thanks," she muttered, exchanging a quick look with her partner before heading off towards Ross' office.

"Well?" asked Logan, pinning Goren with a look.

"She talked, we talked." he replied casually.

Seeing that he wasn't completely satisfied with that answer, he sighed and elaborated.

"We cleared things up, Logan. It's up to her to decide who she wants to tell, not me. You'll just have to believe me when I say she had a damn good reason to be upset."

Seeing that that was all he was going to get out of Goren, Logan quietly nodded his acceptance. He'd probably never be told what the whole thing was all about but he respected Eames' right to privacy too much to pry. It made him feel a bit left out but things finally seemed to be getting back to what was laughingly regarded as 'normal' within major case and at the moment, that was the important thing.


End file.
